Winter's Chill
by Bitter Shadow
Summary: Elizabeth wants nothing more than for Ciel to be safe and happy. Even at the cost of her own soul. Questioning the borderlines of what is loyalty, and what is love, Lizzy gets lured into a very dark place. And she may never get out again. Rated T for violence and gruesome scenes
1. Over The Edge

**A/N: **Hello everyone! Disclaimer time, I don't own Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler). Please don't sue me!

I've only seen the anime I have yet to read the manga, so yeah. Don't spoil anything or get mad if it's not like the manga. Hell, it isn't even like the anime. Just something I thought of. Enjoy.

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CREAK! I winced at the sound of the door. Drawn in by the beautifully crafted dolls out front in the display case, my curiosity had gotten the better of me. I just wanted to check out the place, was all. But somewhere deep in my chest I felt uneasy, like I was doing something much worse.

My eyes flickered back and forth between the few visible shelves, filled with odd parts and frilly toys. The dolls dressed that sat to the left all wore black, as though they were mourning. The ones to the right smiled and wore bright colors, but their eyes seemed to be locked on me. It must just be my imagination. The rest of the store was cloaked in a stunning darkness.

"So I thought to myself," I jumped nearly a foot in the air. A strange voice, one that sent little shivers up my neck. The once strong dark dissolved without a struggle into the light of a candle. An odd tall man wearing a coat of astonishing blue stepped forward, holding the candle in his right hand. He had some sort of music box tied around his neck, held in place by a sturdy band. His hair was eletric orange under the wide brim of a blue top hat that matched his outfit.

On his cheek was a small tattoo of a pattern. One that meant nothing, but meant everything. The type of thing so small but so significant, like a snowflake that held the secrets of the world, never to be discovered unless one knew how to look. One that could be dismissed by the average man or woman, but those who share the feeling can see it clearly.

The feeling of being lost.

"What a strange time for a visitor," He smiled, finishing his initial sentence. "But then again, only the strange can find my store in the first place." I gulped and smoothed out invisible wrinkles in my pink dress with the little white lace around the edges. "What brings you here?"

I looked up, doing my best to maintain eye contact. His eyes seemed so surreal, like they were just doll eyes. "Well, uh, I," I started. I felt almost afraid. There was that feeling again. Like I was doing something I shouldn't be doing. Like I was doing something wrong.

"You're eyes," He spoke out suddenly. I half smiled at him, wondering if maybe coming into a stranger's store in a dark alley wasn't such a good idea. "they're so beautiful."

I blushed and looked down, unsure how to respond. I spoke quickly and kept my eyes on his finely polished shoes. "Uh, thank you very much, but uh I'm very sorry, um, I'm already engaged and Ciel is the only one for me!"

I snuck a peek at his face. He kept staring like he hadn't heard me. I took half a step back. "They're so pretty. I can see your sadness reflected in them. So much pain for such a sweet girl. Your lover...does he not treat you well?"

I shook my head quickly and felt angry at such an accusation. "Of course he treats me right! I'm the only one for him and he loves...he, he loves..." I couldn't bring myself to say it for some reason. It felt like all the energy had been sucked out of me. My eyes well up with tears. "He...he does, really...!"

The man smiled sympathetically as though he knew something and bent his legs to get on my level. "Do not lie to yourself. There is no one to judge you here. I can see the truth in your eyes. Unless you are lying to yourself so deeply you can not be saved from this, you know the truth in your heart."

The first tear rolled down my cheek. "But, he does...really...he loves...I love him!"

Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me. I stood there, shocked. But it felt so familiar...it felt so real...so passionate...I buried myself in him and started crying too hard to stop on command. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. "So I thought to myself," He whispered quietly. "Does he love her as well? If he does not, then he is certainly a fool."

After the minutes ticked by, he eventually let go of me. I was ashamed because I was still sobbing, and I clung to his shirt. "Don't l-look at me, my face is a m-mess. I'm s-sorry to have started crying l-like that." He gently led me to two chairs, set up as though he had been expecting me. He sat me down like I was just one of his dolls who needed to be set up just right.

"Excuse my manners, but I'd like to know what to call you by." He smiled.

"I'm Elizabeth," I breathed out softly. "Who are you?"

"You may call me Drocell. Tell me," He sang out softly, looking into my eyes. I couldn't look away. "Tell me anything you need to say. Like spoken before, there is only I, so you will not be in the least bit judged." He laughed lightly. It was a weird noise, like gears clicking together just right. "To be judged for feeling something is a strange way to live, isn't it?"

I smiled a little sad smile. "Ciel...I want him to be happy..." I breathed out my words. "He isn't happy anymore...he used to be so happy...I want to see him smile again. So, so I do what I can...and, and if hitting me made him feel better, I would let him." I bit my tongue. What was I saying? Of course...of course I had thought these things before but never, never would I say anything to anyone! Especially to a stranger!

"He does not deserve a girl as wonderous as you then," He spoke with subtle hate. Then he spoke under his breath, "So beautiful, so fine...such a fine doll..."

"He's a good person too! He just isn't afraid to get his hands dirty to clean a bigger mess," I was almost yelling. "He's just strong and knows how to get what needs to be done done! I could never do it, I'm too weak. I'm too powerless. Ciel works so hard to get his wish, I can't do anything for my wish..."

"And I thought to myself," Drocell sat forward in his seat, his face close to mine. "What could such a perfect girl have to wish for?"

The clock let out a string of music as two little figurines danced above the clock face, which read ten o'clock. I straightened up a bit.

"My wish is for Ciel to be happy. And, and I guess I know that his happiness doesn't include me. I know my guilty desire, the part of my heart that whispers it wishes 'Ciel was the way he used to be. Back when I was his happiness.' But his happiness is his own, I know that. I just want him to have it, even if that means I may never see him again."

Drocell grimaced. "He does not deserve your blessing then. If his happiness excludes you, but you still yearn for it, that is his own fault. He doesn't deserve you. There isn't anything you can do. Just, let him go."

I stood up abruptly. My body trembled with anger. "No! How dare you! I can help him! I can! I will! I'll find a way! No matter what! I'd do anything for him! Anything...!"

I ran out of his shop. My shoes quickly filled with icy slush and snow as I hurried along, my eyes shut tight, freezing closed with tears. I prayed in silence as I ran. Anything...anything...please, God. Let me help him. I'll give you anything. Send me an angel...send me anything...! Please...I'll give you anything...just send me someone who can help...

Never stopping, I slowed down for a moment and looked around. I was lost. I didn't know how. I knew these streets, these alleyways. But somehow, I didn't know where I was. Or how to get out. I had fallen, and with each step I fell farther. Maybe I could've turned around, but even if, I wouldn't have.

My vision began to cloud. Swirling frost coated the edges of my sight, blotting out the buildings, until everything was just white. But the pureness was tainted with a black shape, coming closer and closer. I welcomed it, I did not struggle. It arrived only several paces away from me. It stopped, and sized me up. An all black wolf. I held perfectly still, feeling it's eyes sweeping me down.

"Do you want to make a contract?"


	2. Only Dreaming

Hey everyone! So sorry I haven't been updating so much! Argh I'm having some writer's block with Silent Song, so just hold on for me! Please! Just a little longer! But, I hope this chapter of Winter's Chill is satisfactory enough to keep you all at bay for a little bit haha. I don't own Kuroshitsuji don't sue me

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"A-a contract?" I whispered, feeling strangely sleepy. I could hardly keep my eyes open.

"Yes, my dear. To grant your wish." it's voice was sickeningly sweet, too good to be true. My wish...yes, my wish. To help Ciel. That is my wish.

"What sort of contract?" my voice wafted through the air, a thick contrast to his, which surrounded the world in it's fist. Mine was gentle and half asleep. It was like a lamb being led astray.

I could hear the smile in it's voice. "I will grant your wish, and serve you until I can. I'd call it a fine deal."

"What will I have to pay?"

It laughed sharply. "Clever girl, clever girl. Your appearance deceives. The price is your soul." I took a step back in instinctive fear. "Now now, I thought you said you'd be willing to do anything for your beloved."

I nodded, feeling light headed. "Anything for him...yes, I'd do anything for him." I paused for a moment, thinking. "Are you the angel that answered my prayer?" It laughed again.

"Oh, far from it, clever girl. Far from it. Quite frankly, I'm a demon. Does that frighten you?"

I breathed out slowly. "Yes, yes it scares me. But I can be brave. Ciel...Ciel's been so brave...yes, I can be brave too."

It chuckled again. "What a good little girl. Be as brave as you can be. So, are you willing?"

I shook my head, trying to sort my thoughts. Could I do it? Could I throw everything away from Ciel? Did I really have that sort of courage?

It licked it's lips impatiently. "You don't have to decide yet. Just call me when you're ready."

"How will I know you're listening?"

"Clever girl, don't you know? Once you fall you can never get all the way back up. You will never be alone. I will always be listening." It strode off. I fell to my knees. Get back up, you useless girl. Get back up.

I flinched as a warm hand touched my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder to see the doll maker. He looked unsettled, glaring coldly in the direction the demon had went. "Hush little child don't say a word, mother's gonna buy you a mocking bird, and if that mockingbird just won't sing, mother's gonna buy you a golden ring." He sang and I felt my eyelids grow heavy. I closed my eyes and felt his long arms circle around me. For the first time in a long time, I was at peace.

"Elizabeth," Ciel said in surprise, staring at my dress. I was in all black with spiderwebs and skulls adorning the waist. My legs felt numb, and I glanced down to see the hem of the dress disintegrating.

"I just wanted to make you happy again, I promise" I cried. He stared in horror at my disappearing body.

"I can't lose you!" He yelled, looking like the small child he used to be. "Elizabeth, you can't die for me!" I grabbed his hand bravely, trying to calm him down. Tears streamed down his face. I smiled weakly.

Suddenly a white-gloved hand covered his mouth. Out of the darkness came with it a black sleeve. It pulled Ciel as he struggled back into the shadows. It tried to rip him out of my hand. I kept mine firm, but it didn't matter. My arm dissolved and the monster pulled him away.

"No! No! Don't hurt him! He's just a child!" I screamed until I was gone completely.

I woke up, bolting upright. I was at home. In bed. Had anything of last night happened? I rolled over to see a pretty doll with glossy black hair and a lavender dress keeping watch next to me. I pulled it into a hug and shook my head. So it must have been real. Or at least some of it had to be. What was a dream and what wasn't?


End file.
